Watkins-and-a-half (Rhiis and Savannah)

Since the first day Rhiis (he HAS to be first of course - 25 years old, generally from California) and Hunter (30 years old, generally from Texas) came unexpectedly knocking on our door, they've never been able to tear themselves from our presence! Soon after, Hunter moved into our mosquito-infested hostel to avoid trouble for committing hostel adultery (using another hostel's kitchen) - he continues to come and go from our room as he pleases and has made himself our personal chef. Hunter humbly requests to be remembered for his rice pudding and here we shall commemorate him. Rhiis spends every waking moment with us, now a full-time Watkins-and-a-half. Fortunately, soon after we met him, he became partners with the directing casting agent, so we HAVE to be nice to him now! Shucks, haha.

Getting to the star of the show, Rhiis is now going to attempt (but he claims he will succeed) to update this bloggerific blog. Here we go...

Ladies and gents and sports coats of all sizes! Gather 'round the campfire, pull up a chair and get ready for a ride. It's a little ride called Egypt, and it's as always wild as burning cows. Maybe I should retract that statement - it's not all been fun and games, it's been a lot of staring at the "gerbil box" ceiling and wondering what in the dickens we're going to occupy ourselves with. In between bouts of mosquito massacres and mice smashings, a job rolled in like a fat man greased down with Crisco. Savannah ("oh, look, I got to be first!"), Bre ("oh I got to be second, that's okay"), Ammon, Brandon and I all tore ourselves from tedium and met at Club 35-or-something. The movie stars Ahmed Helmy and this was taking place at a famous night club. It wasn't too long of a day, and I got to act like an insane drunk on the dance floor. It wasn't too hard of a job. Savannah did the most wonderful thing a person could ever do and tricked me into eating goose liver pate ("I told you we were corrupting him." - Savannah), I am a vegetarian. Ugh. It tasted like death and I realized that immediately as my face wrinkled in disgust. But anyway.

The day came at last - the day where we could not bear to sit indoors forever. It was decided - Islamic Cairo was the destination, and I would act as the guide, dragging these helpless souls into the depths of Cairo's insanity. (Bre and I couldn't help but notice all of the similarities between Rhiis and Ammon. They are both tall, thin, smart, have their ears pierced, don't move their arms when they walk and wear big clunky boots. Rhiis was constantly looking back and checking that we were all there and happy. Something Ammon would never dream of doing, haha. -Savannah) And so we began, spending the day wandering the Medieval gates and walls of old Il-Qahira ("Cairo," the European corrupted form of "Il-Qahira," means "The Victorious." But that's a long story...), tasting cold pudding sweets ($.05 each!) and eating at dirt-cheap eateries ($2 to stuff 5 people!). We got dragged into some papyrus shop for free karkadi (hibiscus tea), wandered around the ancient market of the Khan al-Khalili and had overpriced drinks at El-Fishawy's cafe, a cafe that has been open 24 hours a day for the past 200-300 years. I even got to witness the legendary Maggie and Ammon screaming down the Fishawy's worker for charging more than he quoted. Good times.

In-room days and days of few attractions: a night of face-painting, seeing "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" and "Ocean's Thirteen," brainstorming an entire night to come up with a new name for the casting agency ("Casheesh," "Castanova," "Ridicutarded", etc.), complaining about the lack of hot water, going out for the world's best ice cream, listening to Bre whine and complain about her situation with Darrin, Savannah constantly begging for hand massages, singing Ahmed Purpleshirt's theme song...and so on. As always, every one's sleeping schedules are destroyed and off-set, staying up to 8am and never sleeping. Thank you, Nescafe. Thank you very much.

Yesterday was another day that we just couldn't sit put for hours on end. We all, minus Bre and Maggie, met at 9am after very few hours of sleep. We grabbed some sandwiches for the day's adventure and then hustled on out to...drum-roll please...SAQQARA, site of the world's oldest stone structure - the step pyramid of Djoser - and location of the world's oldest religious texts, the Pyramid Texts in the pyramid of Teti (or "titty" as Brandon says it). Hunter stayed behind and hung out at the police stand near the desert's entrance while we spent hours wandering the Imhotep museum, farting it up around the ancient sites, purposefully pestering guards and waving baksheesh in the faces of those who will never receive baksheesh (tips). From beginning to end, we were insane - chanting low and loud in the reverberant rooms of Teti's chambers, Ammon demanding that all the guards give HIM baksheesh, Savannah telling Egyptians that Ammon and I were her two husbands, Brandon saying he is from Iceland and convincing guards that I am loaded with cash... we were insane. We picked up Hunter on the way out, made our way back into town and treated ourselves to a much needed ice cream. The day was a great one, I can see that travelling with this family of insanity would be non-stop laughs...which is why I am now considering taking them around my beloved Egypt, which I know like the back of my hand (there's a freckle just to the left of my ring finger). We shall see. Everything in Egypt is by "inshallah" (God willing). Being of the traditional Egyptian sort, I'd like to say "inshil'aleyha" (The gods willing...)

Until next time,
Savannah and Rhiis
Rhiis and Savannah
Savaniis and Rhiivannah

Breanna watched us write this.